Are you one of those innocent lambs that have to date a surfer? Oh boi!

Living the life of a human being can be quite hard. What’s probably even harder is to work your way around having a love affair during your lifetime. Sure, some people unwillingly achieve being alone all their life. Others choose to do so on purpose (e. g. monks).

I, however, failed in doing so and fell for the charm of several women. Not all of them had to date me as a surfer, though. Yes, that’s because I haven’t always been a surfer. It’s a dark past without the joy and ecstasy of beautiful waves.

The following report is all about why it’s better for women NOT to date a surfer and it’s based on my own experience.

#1 Waves first, then women

Let’s assume that a woman just entered the exciting life of a surfer. Everything is fine, the poor butterflies still smash against the abdominal wall trying to escape, and right now there is nothing more beautiful than dating this particular surfer. Until the very moment when the surfer has to choose between a good surf or spending time with the dear woman.

You want to take your surfer babe for a nice, romantic walk along the beach. The sun is shining and you walk down the promenade holding hands. Suddenly, your surfer boyfriend stops walking and puts on a really irritated look.

“What’s up, babe?” you might ask.

His hands points towards the ocean and he says, “The waves look pretty fun.”

You, an empathic being as you are, instantly recognise the longing in his look and in his voice. It could be that you are a good girl and send him off to surf right away. It could also be that he swallows down his yearning and keeps on walking with you… at least this time.

But it won’t stay like this for long. Sooner or later there will be a rivalry between you and the waves. And sooner or later you will come off second best. It can be hard when your surfer love thinks about the forecast all day long instead of thinking about you. This is one of the disadvantages of dating a surfer.

#2 Surfing is a sport

So let me ask you this question: Do you stop working out and start gaining weight, only because you have the honour to date a surfer? Probably not.

If your surfer boyfriend (or girlfriend) chooses to go surfing instead of amusing you, please don’t get upset. He doesn’t say, “Please don’t go to the gym, entertain me instead!”

Or does he? Plus, it’s quite likely you can do whatever sports you do almost any time of the day or week, right? Waves, however, are like mermaids. Sometimes you can see them, sometimes you can’t. And if they show, you should surf the  hell out of the waves. You never know when or if they are coming back. That’s actually why surfing has such a high priority in the lives of surfers.

And no, “The waves won’t run away,” is not a valid argument. In fact, they do run away. Who knows, the waves may even turn bad within 30 minutes. If there are waves, you have to go surfing NOW.

I must admit, though, that NOW could possibly mean two weeks non-stop. Anyway, if you want to date a surfer, but don’t have the ability to give your surfer boyfriend or girlfriend that much freedom and independence, your relationship probably won’t last long. You can think of surfing as being cake. You don’t always get to eat cake. So you eat some whenever you can.

#3 Surfers are often gone

If you want to date a surfer, you should keep in mind that he or she will be gone… A LOT. Be it with or without you. Every surfer will travel whenever the situation allows it. And he or she won’t travel to take a sweet selfie with you in front of the Eiffel tower in Paris, but in order to hunt the perfect wave.

Your surfer boyfriend or girlfriend will do anything within his or her power to feel the refreshing water of the ocean on his or her skin as soon as possible again. And he or she won’t have a single thought about whether you are joining him or her on that trip.

You have to understand – waves are wandering around like nomads. You don’t have surfing season all year round in one spot. You might be able to surf all year round in some spots, but you will most definitely find better waves somewhere else at certain times of the year. That’s why surfers are bound to check when and where they can get their next piece of cake. That can mean that a surfer has to spend, for example, two or three months in Bali. That’s no reason for you to get upset or angry. You can try to make your surfer boyfriend or girlfriend choose between you and three months in Bali. But I guarantee that it won’t end well for you.

Moral of the story being – if you have a problem with long distance relationships, or if you are a jealous person in general, then you shouldn’t date a surfer.

It just isn’t your thing.

Sorry to all the fellow surfers whose relationships I destroyed with this post. But I have probably done you a favour.

To all the ladies and lads that have been sent this article by their surfer boyfriend or girlfriend – I think he or she wants to tell you something.

I am sorry,